My Son told me that he was going to marry a sandwich. I complained.
It wasn't even vegetarian. I met both of the parents, they are grilled cheese sandwiches. I hate cheese.
When my son brought Jessica to dinner, I was very upset. Later that night she asked to use the restroom. She was gone for 45 minutes, so I went up and there she was. Smoking heroin needles. 7 of them. She ran past me and on the mirror in red letters it read, "I hunt humans".
Do not attend this wedding, the preacher is Ashton Kutcher and the flower girl is Dwyane Wade.